It Has Been Way Too Long

It has been way too long. It seems like an eternity.

I have gone and made the mistake of scanning my pictures and found yours again…and it brings back those times we had.

Although it was short-lived, it was impacting to say the least.

It has been way too long since I have made you smile. It has been way too long since I have shamelessly flirted. It has been way too long since I have felt your warmth, your love, your security.

It has been way too long since our last, memorable encounter.

At first, I wont lie, I didn’t think much of it. I thought it was just a thing; that you were going to go back to your life and forget about me and remember him. I thought that I was going to come over here and live my life like I should; a life that consists of hookups and work.

But something has changed. Something that you have done has changed me.

And you don’t even realize it.

You don’t realize that when you text me randomly, I burn inside. You don’t realize that when you sent me some of your art, I would read it and I would look at it, for it remindes me of what a great person you are.

You don’t even realize it.

You don’t realize that I am stuck thinking about our time in the future.

The probability.

The potential.

When I go to orientation and meet plenty of worthy “canidates,” all I can think about is what you would think about the dorms or the food or the classes or the seminars.

So what can I do?

How can I deal with this?

How do I go about, as an 18 year old man trying to deal with emotional problems with 2 months until I go to school?

I hope.

I pray.

I dream.

And I hope that my words keep you coming back. I hope that this gift the great Lord has given me keeps you within arm’s reach, or at least close enough where I can lunge at you if needed.

I hope that you don’t forget me. I hope that I don’t just become a “thing.” I hope that you meant what you said. I hope that you find out the things you do to me, without even trying.

Maybe one day.

September 24^th, perhaps?